Steps to Love your child in recovery

• Release expectation
• Champion wins
• Love fearlessly
• Realize everything is ok

Recovery one day

at a time 

mom as spectator 

This is what I woke up to this morning.

You know, being a mom isn’t something anyone gets training for.

We have some examples that come before us, but every mom on planet earth knows that this is 100% on the job training, there is no manual, and every single kid is different.

Adapt and pivot and cry a lot and worry and try again.

And even as our kids are all in their 30s (well, one more has a few months to go), all of the adapting and pivoting and crying and worrying and trying – still a thing!

Of course, this isn’t all of parenting. But most parents I know take the “wins” as not something we did, but something our kids have done.

We are proud of them.

My parents did it with me. I do it with ours.

But this, this is something totally different.

Having a child in recovery from addiction is a spectator sport.

Yes, I can cheer him on, be proud of his strength and perseverance, and all of the things. But this is HIS journey, HIS mountain to climb, and this is HIS win.

I’ve said it before, and I’ll keep saying it: People in recovery are among my favorite humans.

They crawl out of their lonely holes of despair.

They decide.

They make a decision every minute of every day not to do the thing that was actively killing them.

They go inside their souls and rip out their pain and look at it and feel it. (imagine doing THAT after years of avoiding that very thing)

They find connection is their salve and communication is a bridge they continue to build.

They face demons down and intentionally grab life.

How many of us can say we actually do that?

Intentionally grab life?

Took me about 45 years to see that I needed to do that. Without being an addict (of drugs or substances; let’s talk about the addict in all of us sometime, eh?) it still took me decades to realize this.

So yes, humans intentionally in recovery, for themselves, their health, their joy, and their peace, are my favorites.

People who do the work.

Proud of you, Court, but I know that I am a spectator watching you in this. I don’t get to mom you through it. I get to love you, support you, and stand the fuck down and watch you get what you need. Because I don’t know a THING about what you’re going through inside.

But YOU can know that I am your biggest fan. Thank you for choosing sobriety and letting us love you.

Happy Saturday people. Love yourselves more than you did yesterday. ❤